Now, it’s confession time:
It’s not that my feelings were wiped and not replaced with feelings for another. There’s a good possibility that that’s what happened. (Note: this was not what I was looking for. In fact, I thought that NO one could measure up. Ever.)
Enter a friend I’ve known for a few years. We hadn’t seen each other in quite a while, but he came to visit his family. Before he came, he called, to make sure we got to see each other. I was excited, but there were no romantic feelings attached to my excitement. Really. When I saw him, I noticed that he’d changed and matured a bit over the time he was away. Still, I tried to deny any attraction or feeling.
A couple of days later, we went to a cafe to hang out. Still, I assumed he was just spending time with me as a friend he hadn’t seen and just wanted to catch up with. We chatted about random things, some serious, some not so. Later, we talked on the phone. In this conversation, the mutual interest was revealed. For once, the guy was the one to bring the subject to the table.
Well, he actually said that he thought that I was thinking that it was time to move our friendship to the next level. I asked him how he’d react if that’s what I was thinking. He said he’d agree. From there, we discussed how these feelings developed so quickly and unexpectedly for both of us.
This was an overwhelming conversation for me, as I’d been so into someone else so very recently, and I have not had anyone express such a strong interest in me in quite a while.
There are some cool ways that our lives would fit together well. He even fits some of my very specific, if not silly, preferences. We don’t have the same types of things in common as I did with “the other guy,” but there are other things that I appreciate in him. I think the history of our friendship laid a good groundwork for the mutual care and closeness. Now, why did the Lord have to dump this attraction and romantic interest on top of it?! Or…is this even from the Lord? That’s what I’m seeking to discern now. If this isn’t of the Lord, I do NOT want it to drag out.