The End Before the Beginning

One week ago, someone was expressing a deep interest in me – beyond the close friendship that we’d had for the past few years.  One week ago, someone was asking me on a date for Thursday.  Given my normally dateless state, this was naturally an exciting prospect, which I really looked forward to.  I wondered what it would be like to see him in a new light for the first time.  I knew there were some complications involved in the situation, but it was still exciting.  There was a lot that seemed right about it.

Long story, short:  he was dishonest about being out of town and needing to postpone.  Then, he went back to the state he lives in the day before the new date we’d set.  Any word from him?  No.  I found this out when I called to find out what time he’d be picking me up.  His brother told me. I still haven’t heard from him.  Probably never will.

Tears.  There have been tears.  Prayers.  There have been prayers.  To tell the truth, there shoulda been more of those.  And there will be.  Sad music.  Bring it on.

What am I learning?  Not to fall so fast.  I fall hard and fast.  I can not lie.  For the coming bit of time, I want to deny myself the pleasure of having a crush – of having someone to be interested in.  That’s gonna be tough, but I need that right now.  I need some time.  I need to let the Lord heal me.  I need to direct my thoughts and affections toward him.

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