That would be me. It’s been a few weeks since my last post. When I began this blog, I was excited to make regular, super-insightful posts. To be sure, there have been several days when I’ve thought about posting, then didn’t. There are so many things in my overly active heart and mind, but I honestly lack the attention span to sit myself down and flesh them out.
Lack of attention span: that is a major struggle that manifests itself in all areas of life. Unfortunately, prayer and “quiet time” are not exempt from this difficulty. Am I the only one who tends to get stressed out about quiet time? Or huge group prayers, where one person leads and another closes it out. I just wait for the voice of the “closer.” Usually, that person’s prayer starts out, “So, Father…” Then, I know that the end is near.
Please don’t believe that this difficulty means that my love and devotion to the Lord are any less. I mean, every, single one of us could love Him more than we do now. It’s just hard for me to express it in the way that all of the Christian literature tells us that we should do. This is not to say that I never pray or spend time with the Lord. It’s just that it takes major effort for me to sit and do nothing. Talking and listening to the Lord happen more for me in my car, while washing dishes, in the shower… Still, that makes me feel guilty. I feel like I’m squeezing God into my schedule. Am I the only one who feels this way?
Maybe I need to practice more.
So, back to the attention span. After years of avoiding it, I’ve made an appointment to be evaluated – and possibly treated – for ADD. Pills to help me pray? I don’t think so! I believe that treatment would help me concentrate more in all aspects of my life.
I have heard mixed reviews of ADD treatment. I’ve heard people say that they treated themselves through sheer willpower – sans meds. I’ve heard of people being turned into zombies, completely devoid of personality. Recently, I’ve heard of people who are truly helped by their medications. I pray that I’ll fall into that third group!!! If the Lord has me in the category of those for whom the medicines have a negative effect – or no effect at all – I pray that he will (quickly) give me tools to cope. Or just cure me completely. Please pray with me!
Truth be told, the prospect of having more pills to swallow throughout the day is not one that sends me over the moon.
From now, I will try to be a better blogger. Until I see something shiny somewhere. 😉