Slacker

That would be me. It’s been a few weeks since my last post. When I began this blog, I was excited to make regular, super-insightful posts. To be sure, there have been several days when I’ve thought about posting, then didn’t.  There are so many things in my overly active heart and mind, but I honestly lack the attention span to sit myself down and flesh them out.

Lack of attention span: that is a major struggle that manifests itself in all areas of life.  Unfortunately, prayer and “quiet time” are not exempt from this difficulty.  Am I the only one who tends to get stressed out about quiet time?  Or huge group prayers, where one person leads and another closes it out.  I just wait for the voice of the “closer.”  Usually, that person’s prayer starts out, “So, Father…” Then, I know that the end is near.

Please don’t believe that this difficulty means that my love and devotion to the Lord are any less.  I mean, every, single one of us could love Him more than we do now.  It’s just hard for me to express it in the way that all of the Christian literature tells us that we should do.  This is not to say that I never pray or spend time with the Lord.  It’s just that it takes major effort for me to sit and do nothing.  Talking and listening to the Lord happen more for me in my car, while washing dishes, in the shower…  Still, that makes me feel guilty.  I feel like I’m squeezing God into my schedule.  Am I the only one who feels this way? 

Maybe I need to practice more.

So, back to the attention span.  After years of avoiding it, I’ve made an appointment to be evaluated – and possibly treated – for ADD.  Pills to help me pray? I don’t think so!  I believe that treatment would help me concentrate more in all aspects of my life.

I have heard mixed reviews of ADD treatment.  I’ve heard people say that they treated themselves through sheer willpower – sans meds.  I’ve heard of people being turned into zombies, completely devoid of personality.  Recently, I’ve heard of people who are truly helped by their medications.  I pray that I’ll fall into that third group!!!  If the Lord has me in the category of those for whom the medicines have a negative effect – or no effect at all – I pray that he will (quickly) give me tools to cope.  Or just cure me completely.  Please pray with me!

Truth be told, the prospect of having more pills to swallow throughout the day is not one that sends me over the moon.

From now, I will try to be a better blogger.  Until I see something shiny somewhere.  😉

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3 thoughts on “Slacker

  1. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Making time to spend with the Lord is difficult but not because you have ADD. It is difficult because when we come into the presence of God his light reveals the darkness in us and we do not like to take a good long look at what is really going on inside. So we avoid it, we get busy, we allow the enemy to distract us. I’m preaching to the choir sister! I have not made time for “quiet time” once this week… no joke I am dead serious. Which is also why I have not posted recently. Anyway, back to my point. Do not let the enemy convince you that there is something wrong with you! Remember we are at war, no against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers! Yes there should be conviction but there should never be guilt or condemnation. Satan is the accuser of the brethren.
    Lord I pray that you would cover my sister in Christ that you would remove any guilt the enemy would place on her and replace it with your grace and mercy. I pray that you would show her how and when to spend time with you. That you would set a fire within her for your word and your presence. Cover her and keep her Lord and show her how very much you love her!!!

  2. Did you know my husband is classified as ADD? And a few of my children would be to if they went to a Dr. or public school. In our home, it is not a deficit or a disorder. It is not something “wrong” that needs to be “fixed”. It is simply one of the many personality types that God made when he created all the beautiful diversity of “us”. There are strengths (the ability to change tasks with lightening rapidity, the ability to have more than one train of thought going on, the energy and fire to start something vibrantly rather than poke around the bush for eons while it mildews…) and there are weaknesses ( difficulty finishing or following through, frustration with the slowness of everything, speaking and acting before thorough rational thought…) just like ANY personality type has strengths and weaknesses. The key for anyone, of any personality type, is to learn to exploit their strengths to cover for their weaknesses. So, whatever method you choose, medication or whatever, please don’t feel like there is something “wrong” with you, or that you need to be “fixed” or “healed”, but rather that you just need to learn to use the “you” that God made you to be!
    (My 16 year old ADD daughter is reading over my shoulder and says “I like” (0; )

  3. Thanks to both of you for the insight and encouragement! I am honestly getting more excited about this upcoming doctor visit – and still would love prayer for it! I definitely don’t want my God-given “me-ness” to change, but the workings of my attention span are pretty detrimental and non-productive in several areas of my life. I do want those to be changed – through medication, modification or miracle. Not in that order. 🙂

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